On Being A Silly Gaijin

Never has buying bin-bags and tin foil been so satisfying. Pockets jammed full with all the 1-yen and 5-yen coins I have accumulated so far (0.5 pence and 2.5 pence respectively), I set off for my local supermarket, Nishina. As I slowly counted out the coins, much to the annoyance of the nihonjin behind me, I grinned at the shop assistant, and proudly declared "sumimasen", although I think we could both tell my apology was betrayed by the large grin on my face. Getting rid of change is extremely unimportant, yet also extremely satisfying. And my silly grin, and the fact that I’m a gaijin, meant that the shop assistant found my antics amusing rather than annoying. I am, to my knowledge, the only foreigner in Kojima, and certainly the only one who shops in "Nishina Food Basket". So I have license to do such things…

Being a "gaijin" in Japan is a strange experience. "Gaijin" is a shortening of "Gaikokujin", three kanji that mean "outside country person". The fact that it is shortened from "outside country person" to "outside person" tells you something about the status of gaijin in Japan- if nothing else, they are always regarded as separate from the mass bulk of nihonjin. Compared to Britain, Japan is a distinctly homogenous society, consisting of one large "ethnic group". Furthermore, although Chinese and Korean immigrants have more chance of at least superficially blending in, me and my Western compatriots stick out like several sore thumbs.

Of course I’d never bother to buy £2’s worth of stuff with 1p and 2p coins in the UK. But being a "Gaijin in Japan" allows me to do such silly things. A blog not so far from this one once commented on how us "gaijin" have taken such a potentially divisive, derogatory term and made it our own. And it’s absolutely true. Last Friday, a merry band of us went to get our multiple-entry visas. Ono-sensei was also with us, and as we couldn’t find a place to cross the road, we just dashed across, avoiding cars. I turned to Ono afterwards and told him it was the "gaijin way".

Avoiding looking like silly gaijin is nigh-on impossible. When me and Pip were in HMV in Kobe, we looked round but couldn’t see the exit. We were clearly confused. Yet if ANY Japanese person had had this not-so-ridiculous problem, it wouldn't have been a big deal. However the moment we stop and look confused we are the "silly gaijin" who can’t leave a record store. The moment you get past the fact that you will be judged and observed as "the gaijin" in a shop, on a train, and in Japan as a whole is the moment you have license to do very silly things, then turn and shrug, as if to indicate "well I am a gaijin aren’t I". Of course this only works up until the point you cross Japanese law, when (as we have joked many times, but is actually quite likely) you will spend 21 days in a Japanese prison before being deported (this happened to a JET who dodged a taxi fare once. And furthermore, cycling back home when tipsy counts officially as drink-driving).

Anyway, this is my last post before I leave Japan for the first time, travelling north to the wonderful city of Seoul, and the fun and happening place that is the Demilitarised Zone (DMZ) between North and South Korea. Hopefully they'll let me back in the country afterwards...

We Was Robbed...

Both the Blues and Kobe were robbed blind on Sunday, failing to get the points they deserved. Wolves got a last-minute equaliser against the Blue Boys (1-1), whilst Vissel succumbed to an unjust 2-1 defeat to leave a very nervy run-in in the last three games of the season.

I could tell I wasn't having particularly good luck the day before, when we went to Joypolis, a massive games arcade in Okayama City. First I came LAST in the four player racing game, when I was winning for most of it, upholding my country's pride against the others from New York, New Zealand, Canada and Wales (truly an international contest) until disaster struck on the home straight. Then, the Welshman beat me 1-0 as Angola on a football game. I was England. (Still, McClaren's team would've probably lost 2-0).

So anyway, we set out on Saturday full of confidence for the day ahead. In fact this blaze attitude led to us catching numerous trains in several different directions until we finally emerged outside of the Wing stadium. At the start of play, with four games left, the top of the J2 table looked like this:

1. Kobe Vissel..................84
2. Yokohama FC.................83
3. Kashiwa Reysol...............82

Last week we'd lost 4-3 to Reysol, meaning they'd clawed themselves back into it. Yesterday we were playing Yokohama, in a 'very top of the table' clash. Getting there early meant we had time to waste lots of money on Kobe stuff before the game, including another dangly thing for the cellphone, and a very nice scarf. I was also interviewed by Radio Osaka, and asked to give a simple message in English about the game. I went for "Come on Kobe: Back of the Net!", which was soon followed up with "Murder, She Wrote!" from Phil, much to the puzzlement of the interviewer. Anyway, we'd got tickets for the Nutter Stand this time, and it certainly didn't dissapoint! The atmosphere was infinately better than last time, we were standing and singing all game. The singing was led by the hardcore skinheads in black bomber jackets to our left, and included some great songs including one to the tune of Yellow Submarine. Before the game we all held up cards to show a big Kobe badge; and our cause was boosted by the return of Stuart Baxter, our ex-manager, who we noticed on the bench. He'd left as manager a few months ago and moved to Scandinavia, but obviously missed "the Blood" so came back as a coach; what a legend!

The first half an hour was scrappy, with Yokohama maybe slightly edging it. However, in the 35th minute they burst to life, sweeping through our defence before cutting in a ball from the left to the far post. Our keeper had no chance as Shoji Jo powered home to make it 1-0. There was no immediate response, and as the half time wistle was blown things didn't look good. Stu must have had a word at half time, as we looked a lot better after the break. Yokahama began to time-waste, but in the 55th minute gave away a free kick on the right, just outside the penalty box. Our captain and hero, Atsu, curled in what looked like a cross, but it evaded everyone and ended up in the top right-hand corner! Que wild celebrations, and hi-fives from all the Japanese people around us. It looked like we were gonna go on and get the three points, however, completely against the run of play, in the 70th minute Yokohama broke away; our keeper saved a first shot, but the rebound was powered in by Alemao. 2-1. The rest of the game involved frantic attempts to equalise; corners, free kicks, and a header that we somehow managed to plant wide from all of 6 yards out. The goalie even came up for the last corner of the game, but it wasn't to be. Yokohama got all the decisions from the ref, who was absolutely useless. Plus they were constantly feigning injury and time-wasting, leading to a bad-tempered end to the game.

As the final whistle blew we slumped in our seats; as things now stand we could be facing the play-offs to get up into J1.

It was a fun day out, however there is certainly a significant cultural difference in the way Japanese and British people support football teams. Whilst the Bomber Jacket Crew sang almost constantly for the 90 minutes (see half-time skindhead makeover photo above), they didn't once react to events on the pitch. When the ref was letting Yokohama get away with murder, and their players were time-wasting, I felt like I was the most annoyed person in the stand! No-one else reacted- they just kept singing. There was no jeering when the opposition blazed shots over, or taunting of the opposition players and fans. The most the crowd stretched to was the odd boo. Other than that it was Kobe song after Kobe song; cool, but not quite the same as such classics as "Your support is f*cking shit", "The referee's a w*nker", and "Oh Ashley Cole, What A F*cking Ar****le."

So yeah, less swearing than at English footie grounds as well. I guess ultimately the crowd didn't seem to share my anger and frustration, which was annoying. It's all very well getting behind the team etc etc etc, but you also need to vent your frustration at the ref, missed chances and cheating by the opposition. While I had opportunities in abudance to moan about the Blues back home, no one else seemed to want to share in the moaning culture at Kobe.

Final table stands like this...

1. Yokohama FC....................86
2. Kashiwa Reysol..................85
3. Kobe Vissel....................84

Our final games are:

Thursday 23rd Nov: Kusatsu (12th in table/13) vs Kobe
Sunday 26th Nov: Kobe vs Shonan (11th)
Saturday 2nd Dec: Sendai (5th) vs Kobe

Will we get promoted? Or will we have to settle for the playoffs? Find out here!

Not So Bad Tsunami

Well the tsunami that everone was concerning about last night turned out to be not at all bad after all- phew. In fact, the 2m waves predicted turned out to be 40cm waves, equivalent to someone splashing around a bit too over-enthusiastically in the bath.

In other important developments the Japanese volleyball team, led by the talented and lovely Saori Kimura, lost in straight sets to the Chinese team tonight. According to the "federation internationale de volleyball", this means Japan finish in 6th, an improvement on their performance in the last World Cup four years ago. Sadly this was the last game of the tournament, so I'll have to wait a while before I get to see the lovely Saori again.

Tsunami

Ok so the weather report I just bitched about is actually concerning a tsunami thats going to hit the east coast of Japan at around midnight. Let me first say I'm not in any danger, but it does look a bit concerning.

See http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/6150538.stm or other news websites.

I'm now watching womens volleyball. After losing to Italy on monday, the lovely Japanese ladies are tonight battling the tall, blonde Dutch team. We're 7-4 up at the moment in the first set. Ok 8-5 now. As fun for you and me as this live posting is, I'm going to quit while I, and the Japanese Ladies Volleyball Team, are ahead.

Let's all hope that tsunami evacuations go well...

There's Only One Kawaguchi

Let me start by saying there's nothing quite like settling down with a beer and some raw fish and watching a game of footie. Sadly the Japanese football team has a tendency to get rather overexcited when it comes to shooting in front of goal, as was witnessed in the 2006 World Cup. Still, they're currently beating the mighty Saudi Arabia 3-1. In honour of the team (I have to bask in the glory of some national team- and would prefer not to think about England's plight at the moment), above is a picutre of the legend that is Yoshikatsu Kawaguchi. Renowned penalty stopper and all round cool guy, Kawaguchi is the captain of Japan.

This week has been fairly slow, and is once again disjointed as on thursday and friday I have to go to a JET conference in Okayama. In fact, it won't be until December that I spend an entire week in one place of work/business, and there are some classes at Shonan I haven't taught for over a month. Today I had fun lessons with Takemoto sensei, with some of the genki, eager students (who's English ability nonetheless is woefully low). I have to admit I took some sadistic pleasure in watching the concern spread over their faces when I told them about the one-on-one interview tests that are coming up in 2 weeks. Even members of the Steve Fan Club, who'd usually be delighted at such an opportunity to spend time with me, looked a bit worried. The tests will be on "Shopping" and "Restaurant" topics. This week I've been explaining fajitas. I should also mention that each week we have an "English Song" at the start of classes, where the students fill in the blanked out words. This week the song was Complicated by Avril Lavigne. Last week it was Aerosmith. Next week, after due consideration of The Libertines and Babyshambles, we're going for the safer option of Coldplay. I tried to explain that stories of drunken wasters who swear a lot are part of British culture, but to no avail.

Also this week I got compared to Marco Polo, which was nice if a little out of the blue. Apparently being English, living in Japan and then going on a weekend trip to South Korea warrants such a comparison.

Dammit! They've just gone off the football for a damn weather report, and I almost missed a goal! I bet you didn't expect this sort of 'live' commentary on life in Japan eh. I'd just better not miss a goal...

Anyway I think I've said all I have to say. This coming weekend I'm off to Kobe for a critical game in the promotion push. I'll also be able to listen to the Boys in Royal Blue play Wolves, as its an early kick off. Sunday will be spent getting some Korean Won (oh yes, plenty of opportunity for bad puns! In fact I may turn my entire account of my Seoul trip into a very long and bad joke). Of course, others in the Okayama region are going to watch fat, sweaty men in nappies wrestle each other (yes, a Sumo tournament). So I'm sure theres plenty of bad puns and silly jokes all round.

Yes! Redo Cardo! Penalty Kicku! Last minute of time, a chance to go 4-1 up.....

. . . . . . .

I don't believe it. He's f*cking missed it.

A Really Long Post about Kyoto (京都)!

Kyoto may well have taken over from Birmingham as my 'City of Dreams'. Its absolutely fantastical- it has impressive tourist "sights", secluded back-alley temples, contemplative walks, buzzing bars and an absolute massive and incredibly shiny train station- everything anyone could want from a city. It managed to make a cynical athiest gaijin like myself feel a zen-like calm, a true sense of peace, as well as an appreciation of the Japanese aesthetic values of わび さび（wabi sabi). Plus I finally found a kebab take-away in Japan! Back of the net!

I got to Kyoto on Sunday morning (well, early afternoon), and was immediately in heaven as I entered the massive station building. As you can see, it has sky walkways, strange Star Wars esque floating platforms, and seven levels of escalators heading up to a garden on the roof. At the time school bands were playing songs just under the massive Christmas tree. It was also absolutely packed with tourists; I had to wait about 20mins just to get a locker to shove my bag into! After I eventually left the station, I got a bus to Kinkaku-ji, the "Golden Pavilion" in the North-West of Kyoto. It was picturesque, although again packed with crowds which I unceremoniously barged out the way to get my pics. It would easily be the best thing ever if it wasn't for the crowds, but as is the case in most of the famous temples and shrines in Japan, the prescence of masses of ppl takes away from the peace and traquitiliy you go to a temple or shrine for in the first place. C'est la vie. After Kinkaku-ji I walked south west to Ryoan-ji. Its claim to fame was a rock garden that apparently 'hides infinite truths within its riddle of rocks and sand.' To be honest I reminded me of a Zen Garden kit I'd got for Tim as a birthday present (complete with rake). Whilst Timmy's face had lit up at this, it hardly reached a deep philosophical level, and neither did this garden. Still it was alroight- although I had to listen to fat Americans moaning about the number stairs and having to take their shoes off on tatami..grrrr. After this I walked far too far to get to the Imperial Palace Gardens- they were expansive, and the hidden Palace- which I didn't get to see- is apparently more intruiging from the outside than inside so I guess I didn't miss much. I met my friend Hannah and her friend at an Irish pub, and we had kebabs for dinner- yay! Then we walked round Gion, found a nice pagoda up a backstreet, and spotted a geisha.

I woke up fairly early on Monday to get a full day of fun sightseeing underway. Armed with my guidebook, a map, a camera and an uncharacteristic sense of enthusiasm, I set out! First was the Heian Shrine, which appears in Lost in Translation. As I got there early it was fairly empty, and really pleasant, with a large courtyard and striking red buildings. It had an "out of the ordinary" feel to it that was really nice, especially as I'm getting used to seeing Japanese temples and shrines. The walks around the complex were also good- autumn leaves and quiet backstreets. As I walked up to Nanzen-ji I spotted a sign pointing the way to Yamagata Aritomo's old house. I followed it and found Murin-an, the very house at which the decision to go to war with Russia in 1904 was made! For those who don't know, this is what I wrote my dissertation on, so I was filled with geeky enthusiasm. I poked around the old house, and sneakily took some pics of the room where the decision was made (see above photo). Anyway, after that excursion I got to Nanzen-ji. There were lots of temples and shrines, and an aqueduct which was cool. By this point my foot had started acheing- a pain that has lasted all the way till now. It was pretty bad on Monday eve and Tuesday morning, when I was actually limping round Kyoto. Thus, when I set off on a 30mins walk to Ginkaku-ji, known as the Tetsu-go-Michi or "Path of Philosophy", the only philosophising I got to do was how hard it must be to be an old man. After a brief stop at a small udon restaurant I got to Ginkaku-ji, another major tourist hotspot in Kyoto. Ginkaku-ji wasn't as visually impressive as Kinkaku-ji, but it made up for it with some exceptionally well-raked sand (see picture at the bottom). In fact, this is probably the only case in which I will ever describe sand as exceptionally well-raked, but it really was. There was even a pile of sand that was meant to represent Mt.Fuji- good stuff. Also I found some "Very Important Moss"- labelled with the helpful "like V.I.P" in case you were confused. That night I met Hannah again and we went to a really great 2nd hand clothes place- with a bath full of goldfish! Then we went for sushi, and drinking in the evening.




And so we finally come to Tuesday. The last day in Kyoto was the coldest, but it was also the best. I didn't do much- simply wandered round the streets of Gion, and found some lovely spots to sit and think, amazingly free from the hustle and bustle of the tourist crowds. I did go to Kiyomizu-dera, a temple perched on a hilltop that may have been the busiest thing I saw in Kyoto. Nicer though was the walk down through Gion to Maruyama-koen- on the way I managed to get the pic of a geisha you can see below. At Maruyama-koen I was truly feelin the wabi-sabi. By the time I'd finished chilling out round there it was almost time to start my long journey back to Okayama, but I raced to Fushimi-Inari Taisha, a shrine with over 30,000 torii's lined up in 'tunnels' that stretch for several kilometres. You can see a pic below. And note that, to my credit, I avoided making another 'torii' joke.

School Festivals!

So the last four days have been filled with school festivals, a good excuse to chill out, relax, and get paid for doing little. Seishi festival was on Wednesday and Thursday, and the last two days have been Shonan festival. Yesterday we had lots of singing and dancing, mostly by female students, mostly to Britney Spears, Steps and 90s Dance Music. But also one guy who chose to dress up in a skirt.

Today was the main day of the festival, with parents and friends coming for the stage performances and food. I spent most of the day going round the exhibitions in the classrooms with Takemoto-sensei, a lovely English teacher who works with both me and my friend Meghan. Also I saw Louis, a guy from Panama who used to teach at Shonan at the JET before Georgina and Me. For lunch we had a mixture of stuff- takoyaki, udon, yakitori, and cotton candy. As a gaijin, any attempt to make yourself blend in at a Japanese high school is doomed to failure, and I was near the centre of attention almost everywhere I went! Luckily I'm glad to be an ambassador for the UK, and the Steve Fan Club, which I'm glad to report is going well :)

It was a really really fun day, I got to chill out, and have a laugh with the genki students, who make working at school so much fun. Shonan is such a great school- I love the teachers there, including Yoden sensei who is so funny. And like I said, the students are really fun! The Japanese know how to foster a sense of community a lot better than we do in the UK; any excuse and theres a festival! The closing song of the festival was as cheesy as possible, but everyone linked arms and swayed together! Yoden-sensei even dashed across the room to grab me and bring me back to where him and some of his students were singing along! What can appear very superficial on the surface actually disguises a real sense of belonging, loyalty, and love for the school- not the bricks and desks but the people who you teach and teach with. Its groit.